🥦 RARELY SERIOUS: "SKIP THE TURKEY. EAT THE BROCCOLI."
A Thanksgiving Manifesto for Rare Neuro Folks
🍗 FORGET TURKEY. HERE'S WHY.
Turkey is stringy, dry, mean looking and requires your swallowing mechanism to make executive decisions. If you've got neuropathy, CIDP, or any rare neuro mess, turkey is basically volunteering to confuse your body on purpose.
Your nervous system already betrayed you. Don't let poultry do it too. (unless it’s soup!)
Soft. Reliable. Actually tastes good. Here's what you're eating instead:
MAIN COURSE: Roasted Broccoli with Garlic & Lemon
Soft enough to chew without philosophical questions
Tastes good, doesn't argue with your nervous system
Can eat one-handed if your hand decides to be weird today
SIDE 1: Creamy Mashed Potatoes
Smooth, familiar, won't trigger sensory chaos
Basically butter pretending to be vegetables
Nobody questions your loyalty when you eat these
SIDE 2: Broccoli Cheddar Soup
Blended. No texture drama. Pure comfort.
Warm. Good for bodies that can't regulate temperature.
Honestly better than turkey and everyone knows it
SIDE 3: Roasted Sweet Potato
Naturally sweet, easy to digest
Won't sit in your gut like a houseguest who overstayed
Energy budget approved
SIDE 4: Buttered Broccoli Florets
Yes, broccoli again. It's that good.
You can eat it with your hands if utensils betray you
Your family can have turkey. You're living better.
BREAD: Soft Dinner Rolls
Doesn't require 8 minutes of determined chewing
Pairs well with broccoli (yes, really)
Won't trigger post-exertional malaise
DESSERT: Pumpkin Pie
The only reason anyone shows up anyway
Forget turkey. Pie is the real Thanksgiving.
Soft. Worth your energy budget.
No swallowing nightmare: Broccoli is soft. It cooperates. Your nervous system stays calm.
Energy efficient: Prep is easy. Cooking is simple. You're not wiped out by 2 PM.
Actually tastes good: Turkey is overrated. Broccoli is underrated. We're fixing that.
Digestible: Your gut won't spend three days processing broccoli like it's a brick wall.
Medical approved: No weird textures. No lengthy digestion nightmares. Your body can handle this.
Mashed Potato Loaf
💬 WHAT TO SAY WHEN FAMILY ASKS
"Where's your turkey?"
"I'm eating broccoli. My nervous system and I had a meeting. Turkey didn't make the cut."
"But it's tradition!"
"My tradition is surviving Thanksgiving without wiping out my energy budget. This broccoli supports that."
"You have to try the turkey!"
"I'm trying the broccoli. Broccoli didn't spend three years betraying me. Turkey did."
"This is sad."
"This is strategic. There's a difference."
✅ THE REAL THANKSGIVING
You made it to the table. With a nervous system that doesn't cooperate. With energy you're carefully rationing. With a body that has opinions about everything.
That's the win. Not the turkey.
Eat the broccoli. Stay comfortable. Keep your energy. Let everyone else figure out why turkey is actually overrated once they try your menu.
🧠 FINAL THOUGHT
Your Thanksgiving doesn't need to look like anyone else's. It needs to work for YOUR body.
Turkey? Skip it. Broccoli? Load up. Pie? Obviously yes.
Your nervous system didn't ask for this holiday chaos. Be kind to it. Broccoli is how.
Happy Thanksgiving. From all of us at Rarely Serious: May your broccoli be soft, your family be tolerable, and your nervous system forgive you by Friday..
RARELY SERIOUS | November 27, 2025 | "Your body, your menu, your rules."
Broccoli gravy? Really?