Read Time: WAY TOO LONG AND I’M TIRED OF IT!
📝 EDITOR'S NOTE
By Kit Whimsley, Chief Enthusiasm Officer & Professional Giggler
Howdy, beautiful people!
This week we're measuring something IMPORTANT: How high can your eyebrows go when life gets ridiculous? Turns out: PRETTY HIGH.
Welcome to the "Up-To-Here" edition, where we celebrate every single absurd moment that makes you go "ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?" and then laugh anyway because what else are you gonna do, blow a gasket?
Let's measure some comedy!
REMEMBER THIS IS ALL FAKE!
📊 THE OFFICIAL "UP TO HERE" ABSURDITY METER
Warning: Chart broke from sheer entertainment value
Your life's absurdity levels are currently:
Insurance Confusion: 1000/10 (off the charts!)
Doctor Appointment Comedy: 900/10
Family Advice Hilarity: 850/10
Mailbox Drama: 1100/10
The good news? We're ALL measuring high. This is PEAK comedy material, folks.
🎪 SECTION 1: THE INSURANCE COMPANY IMPROV SHOW
Today's Performance: "Is This Real or Am I Dreaming?"
Q: Why did insurance deny my totally normal, FDA-approved, doctor-ordered medication?
A: Because somewhere in their office, there's a Magic 8-Ball making decisions, and today it said "OUTLOOK NOT SO GOOD."
Your doctor prescribed something in 2003. Insurance computer thinks it's 1999 and anything after Y2K is "experimental." The computer also thinks Pluto is still a planet and flip phones are cutting-edge.
What you THINK: "This can't be happening."
What's ACTUALLY happening: Insurance intern accidentally used the "DENY EVERYTHING" stamp instead of the "APPROVED" stamp. Nobody noticed for 6 weeks.
Comedy Gold Moment: When they ask for "more documentation" and you've already sent them a 47-page medical novel, three doctor's notes, and a handwritten letter from your mom.
🩺 SECTION 2: "WE'LL MONITOR IT" - THE GREATEST MEDICAL CATCHPHRASE
Q: My doctor says "monitor it" every single visit. Monitor WHAT exactly?
A: Everything! Nothing! The general vibes! Your aura! Whether Mercury is in retrograde!
It's like your doctor is a lifeguard at a pool, watching you swim, yelling "KEEP SWIMMING! I'LL WATCH!" Super helpful. Very reassuring.
The "Monitor It" Drinking Game:
Doctor says "monitor it" → drink water (stay hydrated!)
Nurse says "follow up in 6 months" → drink coffee (you'll need it)
Receptionist says "we'll call you" → drink tea (they won't)
Best Part: You've been "monitoring" something since 2019. It's still doing whatever it wants. The monitoring is purely observational. Like bird watching, but it's your own body.
🧘 SECTION 3: EVERYONE'S A DOCTOR NOW THANKS TO THE WEB!
Q: When did everyone I know become a specialist in my rare disease?
A: Around the time they discovered the search bar and lost all sense of shame.
New & Improved Unlicensed Medical Advice:
“I looked it up, it doesn’t seem that bad.”
Thank you, Dr. Two-Minute-Scroll, for overruling my neurologist and my entire peripheral nervous system.“The internet says you should just boost your immune system.”
My immune system is the PROBLEM, Kyle. It’s already boosted. It’s in beast mode. That’s why we’re here.“I saw a TikTok where someone cured this with celery juice.”
Amazing. Tell the FDA. Tell Neurology. Tell God.“You’re probably just low on vitamins.”
I could swallow the entire supplement aisle at Costco and my nerves would still be on airplane mode.“You’d be fine if you got off all those meds.”
Right, let me just raw-dog this autoimmune disaster for your comfort.
Professional Summary (on LinkedIn, apparently):
Zero years of medical school
One podcast episode
Half a wellness blog
= “Have you considered changing your mindset?”
Meanwhile, you’re over here billing 40 hours a week as the only actual full-time researcher of Your Specific Disease, and nobody’s taking your notes.
📬 SECTION 4: THE MAILBOX INCIDENT
Q: I walked to the mailbox Tuesday. Why am I horizontal Friday?
A: Your body uses DELAYED BILLING. Like a credit card, but for energy. And the interest rate is RIDICULOUS.
Tuesday: "What a lovely 50-foot stroll! Fresh air! Exercise! I'm winning!"
Friday: "REMEMBER TUESDAY? TIME TO PAY. WITH INTEREST. IN EXHAUSTION."
Texas Translation: It's like eating a whole plate of brisket on Tuesday and your stomach sending you the bill on Friday. Except the bill is paid in nap time.
Silver Lining: You got really good at horizontal living! It's a skill! You're practically a professional rester now!
👕 SECTION 5: THE SHIRT THAT BECAME YOUR ENEMY
Q: I loved this shirt yesterday. Today it feels like sandpaper made of fire ants. WHY?
A: Your sensory nerves held a meeting at 3 AM and decided that shirt is now The Enemy.
Monday: "This shirt is comfortable!"
Tuesday: "This shirt is a WAR CRIME."
No explanation. No warning. Just your nervous system making executive decisions without consulting you.
Also on the Enemy List:
That one ceiling light (too bright)
The sound of chewing (STOP IT)
Tags in clothing (REMOVE IMMEDIATELY)
The cat meowing (is she YELLING?)
Pro Tip: Just embrace it. You're not picky, you're DISCERNING. Very fancy.
🌟 THE ACTUALLY GOOD NEWS
Here's what's genuinely amazing:
You're reading this. Laughing (hopefully!). Living a medical sitcom that writes itself. Finding humor in the truly bizarre adventure of having a body that makes NO SENSE.
That's not just good—that's HEROIC. That's choosing to laugh at 1200-level brain fog instead of crying about it. That's finding the comedy in insurance absurdity instead of throwing your phone.
Tomorrow's Forecast: More ridiculous material! Fresh absurdity! New comedy gold!
And you'll be there, living it, laughing at it, and probably forgetting why you walked into the kitchen.
🌵 YOUR COMEDY SUPPORT TEAM
📧 Share YOUR "Up to Here" Moment: [email protected]
What made you laugh-cry this week? We want to hear it!
🧠 Need Actual Medical Resources? Our sister newsletter Texas NeuroRare has real doctors, real info, real resources (we handle the jokes, they handle the facts!)
🤖 Confused by AI in Healthcare? Neuro AI-Ally translates tech-speak into human-speak so you can make smart decisions without a computer science degree
🎯 THAT'S IT, FOLKS!
You're living the medical comedy show. The script is wild. The plot makes no sense. But the cast (that's you!) is AMAZING.
Stay hilarious. Stay strong. Stay "up to here" with good humor.
Tomorrow's gonna be ridiculous. Might as well laugh about it!
Until our next laugh,
Kit Whimsley
Chief Comedy Correspondent
RarelySerious Newsletter
"Not medical advice. Just really good comedy material."
REMEMBER THIS IS ALL FAKE!
NOT YOU TOO?