📝 FROM THE EDITOR
Howdy, y'all! Turns out we're all living double lives. There's "Good Day You" who makes brunch reservations, and the "Why Did I Attempt Stairs You" who cancels them. Robert Louis Stevenson wrote a whole novel about this, except his Mr. Hyde didn't also have to negotiate with insurance companies and all the other “perks” from living with these neuro conditions. So giddy up and read on.
Let's meet your roommates.
Remember this is not real. We are not doctors.
💼 DR. JEKYLL (TUESDAY 2 PM VERSION)
Appearance: Showered. Vertical. Making sustained eye contact like a champion.
Energy Level: Exists! Detectably!
Probability of Finding Car Keys: A whopping 73%
Greatest Hits:
Wakes up pain-free and immediately assumes it's permanent
Buys new walking shoes "because I'll be walking more now"
Makes dinner plans three weeks out like some kind of cowboy optimist
Texts the group chat: "I'M BACK, BABY"
Tells neurologist: "I think the medication is finally working!"
Schedules back-to-back activities like someone who's never met themselves
What Dr. Jekyll Says: "You know what? I think I'm finally turning a corner. Maybe I'm in remission. Has anyone checked if remission just means 'having a good Tuesday'?"
What the Neurologist Hears: "I had a really good HOUR. Tuesday at 3 PM specifically."
🌙 MR. HYDE (WEDNESDAY 3 PM VERSION)
Appearance: Technically vertical. Pajamas have become a lifestyle choice. Giving strong "I've made decisions" energy.
Energy Level: Negative. Owes energy to the bank.
Probability of Remembering Own Name: Fluctuating.
Greatest Hits:
Blames Tuesday for Wednesday's apocalypse
Sends identical "I'm so sorry" cancellation texts to everyone simultaneously
Eats cereal for dinner while horizontal (efficiency!)
Researches wheelchair options for the 47th time
Texts the group chat: "Delete my earlier message. I don't exist anymore."
Stares at ceiling contemplating whether stairs are even real
What Mr. Hyde Says: "Why did I think Tuesday was a victory? Tuesday was a SETUP. My nervous system was playing 4D chess while I was playing checkers."
What the Neurologist Writes: "Patient reports variable symptoms." (Like that's NEWS, doc.)
🔄 THE TRANSFORMATION TIMELINE
Tuesday 2 PM (Peak Jekyll Hours)
✅ Walks upstairs like it's nothing
✅ Makes dinner AND eats it at a table
✅ Texts friends actual words
✅ Feels basically human
Tuesday 7 PM
⚠️ Leg tingles. Weird fatigue creeping in. Dr. Jekyll in denial. "Probably just need more water."
Wednesday 8 AM (TRANSFORMATION BEGINS)
🚨 Woke up as Mr. Hyde
🚨 Cannot locate legs
🚨 CAN locate regret (always easy to find)
Wednesday 3 PM (FULL HYDE)
😤 Horizontal Netflix marathon
😤 Contemplating if Tuesday was a fever dream
😤 Writing strongly-worded mental letters to Dr. Jekyll
Friday 9 AM
🤔 Dr. Jekyll creeping back... making tentative plans... despite six years of evidence...
💬 JEKYLL & HYDE: THE CONVERSATIONS
Tuesday 6 PM
Jekyll: We should go to that thing Saturday!
Hyde: That's in FIVE DAYS. You can't promise anything five days out.
Jekyll: I walked upstairs today! I'm basically healed!
Hyde: You walked upstairs four hours ago. I've been here for three. Check back Wednesday.
Jekyll: Normal people get tired.
Hyde: Normal people don't get tired from EXISTING. That's our specialty.
Wednesday 2 PM
Hyde: Why did you commit to Saturday?
Jekyll: I felt good!
Hyde: For FOUR HOURS. You felt good for four hours and scheduled a WEEKEND.
Jekyll: But maybe this time—
Hyde: Bless your heart.
Friday 11 AM
Jekyll: Hey, I'm feeling better!
Hyde: NOPE. Don't start.
Jekyll: I can sit up for twenty whole minutes!
Hyde: That's a trap. You get twenty minutes, feel victorious, plan THREE THINGS, and by Wednesday I'm back running this rodeo.
Jekyll: But maybe Saturday—
Hyde: Text them. Cancel. Cancel NOW.
📊 THE BEHAVIOR MATRIX
Situation | Jekyll Does | Hyde Does | Who's Right |
|---|---|---|---|
Weekend plans | Commits enthusiastically | Cancels Wednesday | Hyde (always) |
Walking to mailbox | "I got this!" | Can't leave couch for days | Hyde (always) |
Telling people "I'm fine" | "I'm GREAT!" | "Define 'fine'" | Hyde (always) |
Good day texting | "I'M BACK!" | "Don't believe him" | Hyde (always) |
🤠 TEXAS TRANSLATION GUIDE
"I'm feeling spry today" = Dr. Jekyll has entered the building
"I'm fixin' to rest a spell" = Mr. Hyde has arrived and brought luggage
"Bless my heart" = My nervous system has made choices I didn't authorize
"That dog won't hunt" = My legs have opinions about your stair plan
"All hat, no cattle" = Dr. Jekyll's Saturday plans
🎪 THE TAKEAWAY
You're not flaky. You're not dramatic. You're two people sharing one body that refuses to coordinate its calendar.
Dr. Jekyll keeps booking the conference room. Mr. Hyde keeps sending the cancellation emails.
They're not enemies—they're just REALLY bad at communicating. Like a divorced couple sharing custody of your weekend plans.
Pro Tip for Dr. Jekyll: Stop saying "I'M BACK!" Start saying "I'm visiting! Time limit unclear!"
Remember this is not real. We are not doctors.
See y'all next week (if Dr. Jekyll lets Mr. Hyde attend).
"One good Tuesday doesn't make a life. But Mr. Hyde wasn't wrong about Wednesday."
Check out Texas NeuroRare for the science and for your dose of AI. We're just here to explain why you're a walking contradiction—emphasis on "walking" being optimistic.
Your horns are NOT going numb
