You know that feeling when you're reading the comics and you snort-laugh so hard your coffee comes out your nose? That's what we're going for. Except instead of a cat stuck in a tree, it's your nervous system doing ridiculous things at 3 AM.

Brain: Okay team, what's our job today?
Legs: Randomly stop working.
Stomach: I'm angry. Don't know why. Don't care.
Hands: We're floating somewhere. Are we real?
Immune System: ATTACK EVERYTHING.
Everyone: silent staring
Brain: Does anyone remember what normal feels like?
All Body Parts: Nope.
Brain: Cool. Cool cool cool.

You get a card with these squares:

Free Space: "Waking up wondering if today is a leg day or a couch day"

Everyone's got at least 7 already. BINGO!

Doctor: This medication might have side effects.
You: Like what?
Doctor: Well... looks at paper ...it varies.
You: That's not specific.
Doctor: Some people get nausea.
You: And?
Doctor: Some get headaches.
You: What else?
Doctor: Dizziness, fatigue, rashes, mood changes, and possibly spontaneous combustion.
You: WHAT.
Doctor: Probably not that last one. Probably.
You: How will I know which one I have?
Doctor: Trial and error!
You: internal screaming, but enthusiastically

Midnight You: Tonight's the night. I'm getting 8 hours.

12:15 AM: Side sleeping. Leg's asleep. Genuinely asleep. Not with you.

1:30 AM: Back position. Lower back files formal complaint.

2:45 AM: Stomach. Who even knows. This is madness.

3:30 AM: Hanging half off bed. One leg out. One pillow on floor. This is fine.

4:45 AM: Sitting up. Gave up. Reading about people who sleep normally. Hating them softly.

6:00 AM: Finally asleep.

6:15 AM: Alarm. Wake up time.

You: This was a personal attack.

Your Body: It's Tuesday. I'm choosing chaos.

You: Okay, what temperature are we doing?
Your Body: Yes.

You: Yes what.
Your Body: Yes to both. Simultaneously.

You: That's not possible.
Your Body: I'm learning as I go.

You at 2 PM: wrapped in blankets in front of AC
Spouse: Are you okay?
You: I have no idea.

Your Body at 6 PM: Plot twist. I'm comfortable now.

You: Oh thank god!
Your Body: For 4 minutes.

You: This is chaos.

Your leg feels like:

Doctor: What does it feel like?
You: How do I describe the indescribable?
Doctor: Use your words.
You: I'm TRYING.

Later:
Your Notes: "Cold-hot-weird-thing-three-times-a-day"
Doctor's Notes: "Patient reports unusual sensation"

Narrator: You both learned nothing and that's okay.

Wednesday 9 AM You: I'm having a GOOD DAY. I might walk to the mailbox!

Wednesday 2 PM You: walks to mailbox This is fine. Everything's fine.

Wednesday 6 PM You: Still feeling great. Might do laundry!

Thursday You: Why am I tired? I did basically nothing yesterday.

Friday You: WHY AM I COMPLETELY DESTROYED.

Your Body: Remember that mailbox?
You: That was TWO DAYS AGO.
Your Body: Invoice is due. With interest.
You: Your accounting system makes no sense.
Your Body: Welcome to rare disease finance.

Scene 1: You walk into kitchen.
You: Why am I here? What did I need?
Your Brain: No idea.
You: You're supposed to remember!
Your Brain: That's what long-term memory does. We're running short-term now.
You: What's the difference?
Your Brain: One works. Good luck guessing which one.

Scene 2: Three hours later you remember.
You: YES! I needed coffee!
Your Brain: Cool. Want me to remember this tomorrow?
You: PLEASE.
Your Brain: Nope. New day, new amnesia.

Your Favorite Shirt: used to be most comfortable ever
You: I love this shirt!
Shirt: I know.
You: puts it on Monday
Shirt: Actually, I'm your enemy now.
You: WHAT. It was perfect last week!
Shirt: I've evolved. I'm offensive to your skin now. You're welcome.
You: Can I exchange you?
Shirt: Nope. I'm staying in your closet being awful.
You: This is psychological warfare.

Your Nervous System: That's literally my specialty.

Person: "But you don't look sick."
Your Brain: screaming internally
Your Mouth: Thanks for noticing.

Person: "Have you tried yoga?"
Your Brain: ascending to another dimension
Your Mouth: What a novel idea.

Person: "My cousin had something similar."
Your Brain: teleporting away
Your Mouth: That's interesting.

Person: "You should exercise more."
Your Brain: becoming one with the universe
Your Mouth: I'll think about that.

Later: Why do we even answer the phone?

Here's the real joke:

You're living with something that doesn't make sense. Your body's writing its own rules every single day. Insurance speaks a language that defies logic. Doctors are trying their absolute best with incomplete information. And somehow YOU'RE the one being funny about it all.

That's not just survival. That's actual magic.

So laugh. Your body's going to do something ridiculous tomorrow anyway. At least you'll have material.

Brought to you by:  Coffee. Laughter. And that dog-gone nervous system just doing its best “thing” (and failing beautifully).

Stay weird. Stay strong. Stay laughing. ☕😂